It's a Healthy-esque Thing

 In a stark contrast to the previous post -- I am on an upswing. I caught it early, but not before I signed up a foam run, booked a cottage with friends, reached out to a personal trainer about an individual program, I bought probiotics, meal prepped for hours and at 10am have already consumed 59grams of protein. It's fun being this version of myself. She is smart, powerful, optimistic and kind. She is also up for anything and doesn't care about the expense -- nothing is as valuable as the experience. The only fear is the come down, when it happens I don't always have a say. It makes it very hard to keep up with all of Manic Melanie's ambitions, but when I feel like this the low doesn't seem so bad.  Wish me luck as I embark on the summer of me! Events, concerts, construction, cottages and endless fun. Woot! Melanie 

 At least that is what I am telling myself.  I've been sad and that is heavy. It's hard to carry around sadness and still perform at peak level. I had to use all my energy to exist for my kids. I am not depressed, but this sadness was big. A recent dianosis, left us having to rehome our cats, which seems trivial in the grand scheme of things, but they were my 'we're-not-having-anymore-more-kids' cats and I loved them with all I had. That plus they're the only pets my kids have ever known and they are hella attached. So we had to grieve the loss, while handling the news of my littiest guy having severe Asthma that is impacting his lung development.  That paired with my horomal cycle at the time of the news, left me struggling to get through each day, feeling the weight of it all. And all of my self-awareness couldn't stop me from falling on my good old coping  mechanisms, even while it was happening the quiet, healed, wise little voice in the back of my mind

 Happy 2024! It is not January, and this is not a post about resolutions (been there, done that).  I am using the last few days of March to fine tune who I am going to be this year, with the real 'fresh start' to happen on April 8th. The beginning of my new year.  I have always made plans to lose weight, for as long as I can remember, I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be smaller. I wanted to be little, lighter and blend in with all the other pretty girls.  Last year I changed my plan (at least I pretended too) I wanted to create consistency and redefine my body, but ultimately I wanted to get smaller and lighter to be able to live the life I want. The life I pictured was always in a smaller body -- a body that 'fit' in the standardized seat of society without any over hang.  Mid year, I entered an F45 challenge and changed my prespective. I didn't care about the weight, but I wanted the functionality that I believed only existed in a smaller pant size. I accepte

At the start and end of every challenge my gym completes a scan and as an information junky, I am ALL in. I have a basic scale at home that only tells me how much my entire system weighs -- somedays that doesn't move, some weeks and months it doesn't move.  I take my measurements monthly, but even that doesn't capture what is happening on the inside.  I have shifted my goals to be more about the composition of my body, not just the overall weight. I want to lose fat, gain lean muscle and increase my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) to keep this engine running smoothly. This year I have focused more on what is going on inside. I want to lower my heartrate recovery time, I want to increase my endurance, I want lift all the heavy things. I want energy, better sleep and a clear mind.  Let's have a look at the facts... Total Body Water - I think this number is important to maintain, but really just depends on how much water I drink in a day. My goal is to drink between 3 and 4 li

 I've been quietly (not at all quietly in the real world, but quietly in the blogesphere) working on myself.  I went down an unhealthy spiral, I lost focus on my goals and felt heavy in my body, literally and figuratively. I didn't realize how far I had slipped from my goals until much later on in the adventure. I went days without leaving the house only talking to people on screens, I felt hopeless, isolated and sad, but I wasn't doing anything about it but complaining.  I was working with a dietitian who was very anti-diet and great for seeing things as they are, but horrible for boosting morale. Her stance was I needed to change my goals and accept my body as it was. I understand appreciating your body at any size, but when it is hindering your dreams, I can't get on the acceptance band wagon. I want more out of life and sadly a lot of my big dreams have a weight restriction, I don't want to be the girl that lives a quiet life because the things she wants are out

 What is that? 5000 Club is a tortuous event masterminded by my coach, Rod. It feels like a gateway to Ninja training - can I complete this challenge? Am I committed? Am I ready?  Yes. Yes, I am Rod.  5000 Club is insanity of completing 5000 Push-ups, 5000 Sit-ups and 5000 squats in 28 days. That is averaging 180/day of each. This doesn't seem like a lot until it is. It seems possible when you break it down to 20 hour for all the hours you are awake... easy. Ha!  It starts out simple, I do my 20 each and set a time for one hour - I drink my coffee, log in to work and then the timer beats and I get down on the ground and do 20 more, set the timer and get back to work. I have a few meetings read an email and BAM my timer goes off. I do my squats, push-ups and sit-ups, set the time and sit back down at my desk, the time beats. The hours get shorter until its 10pm and I am in my bedtime frantically squatting while Richard is trying to sleep. This is fine. Everything is fine.  It is day

 So quick catch up, I missed my birthday because my household had covid. We came home from Worlds and had to isolate for 10 days -- which meant everything was cancelled. I had finally planned a birthday that didn't rely on anyone. Start the day with a float, then a massage with a salt scrub and a pedicure with my favourite lunch. The next day was an adventure with the hubby and then horse back riding with my best friend. By far one of the best birthdays -- but not, because everything was cancelled. It was sad -- I spent the day alone, while my husband and oldest isolated from me, because they were positive and I was not. I made and delivered all their meals and did all the clean up before I went to bed alone. It was very sad.  I think I am over it -- I don't need a redo, despite all of my friends offering to reschedule everything.  I did need to use the services I could only delay, not cancel. So last night I had a night for me.  I started at kickboxing, which was a killer clas