It's not another day one -- it's just getting back on track.

At least that is what I am telling myself.

I've been sad and that is heavy. It's hard to carry around sadness and still perform at peak level. I had to use all my energy to exist for my kids. I am not depressed, but this sadness was big. A recent dianosis, left us having to rehome our cats, which seems trivial in the grand scheme of things, but they were my 'we're-not-having-anymore-more-kids' cats and I loved them with all I had. That plus they're the only pets my kids have ever known and they are hella attached. So we had to grieve the loss, while handling the news of my littiest guy having severe Asthma that is impacting his lung development.

That paired with my horomal cycle at the time of the news, left me struggling to get through each day, feeling the weight of it all. And all of my self-awareness couldn't stop me from falling on my good old coping mechanisms, even while it was happening the quiet, healed, wise little voice in the back of my mind was screaming -- THIS ISN'T HELPING. I couldn't hear her, she wasn't loud enough. The hurt little girl was sobbing to loud, and she wanted sweets and sleep.

I got through it all, but that is a tough cycle to break when you're tired, because you are not taking care of yourself, or as my kids say 'not doing all the things'. So I kept feeling worse until I hit the bottom, curled up in bed, sore, uncomfortable, bloated and achy. Argh.

I am always amazed that knowing my triggers and my unhealthy habits, doesn't always help. Knowing the things I need to do to feel good and pull myself out of my funk doesn't give me the energy to do them.

Hmpf.

I started small - I wrote down what I wanted. I wrote down who I am trying to be and then I worked backwards to build a plan to get there, small little baby steps.

I started this morning with a walk. I went around the block, I walked 1.37kms. Super small, but it started my day off correctly.

I came in and looked at my plan, it was a detailed meal plan with all the ingredients ready to go (prep Melanie is a real boss at this), I even pre-logged everything. I have a wall of sticky notes with my daily goals and affirmations. I took pictures and measurements. It's not another day one, I have had enough of those, but its a course correction when life got to hard.

Here's to the endless journey of figuring out who I am and who I want to be.

Love!

Melanie

Comments

The Willpower Instinct - Chapter One

I am reading this book to develop the willpower required to tackle my goals. The beauty of this Book is broken down into Chapters, with a goal and experiment in each. You build off the following week. Chapter One is about setting your challenge, developing your 'I will', 'I won't' and 'I want' goals, finding your trigger (early every time) and meditation (strengthening your frontal cortex). I posted my 'I' goals and have stuck to them the entire week, reciting them in my head when temptation wanes. I will get health, I won't sabotage myself, I want to be fit. I can proudly say I haven't slipped on my diet or fitness intentions, even adding kick-boxing to my routine. Just from that I have lost 5lbs. I have a journal of my triggers. Who knew they were rooted in waste?! I hate wasting food. That's why when I am full, but there is food on my plate, I continue to eat; why I eat off of my son's plates (they never eat); why I ind...

Mindful Eating

I got my package. I will write a post about it, but I am still overwhelmed and waiting for guidance. I read it cover to cover and took away the things I could understand: Eat every 3 hours during waking hours, to keep my metabolism humming along (I am not sure if this is old-truth, but as I promised Richard, I will do the program as it was designed for me). I am designed for 'burst' work-outs, but likely to obtain soft tissue injuries. I tolerate alcohol well, because of this I don't likely have hang-overs and need to be conscious of my intake. I need to set 5 attainable and measurable goals (harder than it sounds). Mindfulness eating will likely be the key to my success. Let's look at number 5; mindful eating. This is what keeps you from eating out of boredom, prevents mindless snacking and makes the process of eating more enjoyable. I think it's the same principle as food journals or budget journals -- being aware and in the moment keeps you from ov...

InBody Scans

At the start and end of every challenge my gym completes a scan and as an information junky, I am ALL in. I have a basic scale at home that only tells me how much my entire system weighs -- somedays that doesn't move, some weeks and months it doesn't move. I take my measurements monthly, but even that doesn't capture what is happening on the inside. I have shifted my goals to be more about the composition of my body, not just the overall weight. I want to lose fat, gain lean muscle and increase my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) to keep this engine running smoothly. This year I have focused more on what is going on inside. I want to lower my heartrate recovery time, I want to increase my endurance, I want lift all the heavy things. I want energy, better sleep and a clear mind. Let's have a look at the facts... Total Body Water - I think this number is important to maintain, but really just depends on how much water I drink in a day. My goal is to drink between 3 and 4 li...

It's a Healthy-esque Thing

Search This Blog