2024!

 Happy 2024!

It is not January, and this is not a post about resolutions (been there, done that). 

I am using the last few days of March to fine tune who I am going to be this year, with the real 'fresh start' to happen on April 8th. The beginning of my new year. 

I have always made plans to lose weight, for as long as I can remember, I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be smaller. I wanted to be little, lighter and blend in with all the other pretty girls. 

Last year I changed my plan (at least I pretended too) I wanted to create consistency and redefine my body, but ultimately I wanted to get smaller and lighter to be able to live the life I want. The life I pictured was always in a smaller body -- a body that 'fit' in the standardized seat of society without any over hang. 

Mid year, I entered an F45 challenge and changed my prespective. I didn't care about the weight, but I wanted the functionality that I believed only existed in a smaller pant size. I accepted that I would never be 'small' that is not the body I was blessed with, but I can be strong. I can plan to lift the heaviest things and change my training to target that. I changed my weekly goals, upped my protien intake and worked on the mental game of loving this beautiful machine I get to walk around in. 

I still slip. I still get sad and stay in bed, I still get frustrated and eat all the cookies, but if I learned anything in 2023 -- it's not about being perfect all the time, it is about building good habits and consistency. Since August 2023, I have been to the gym and moved my body 5+ times a week. I still make BIG plans that ultimately fail, I still get lost in set-up and prep, but lack the follow through. I still think one magical thing will change everything and fall for schemes and money grabs, but I try -- I try them all. New shoes, new supplements, new brands -- I try them all. Some stick, some don't. 

And I have given myself the grace to fail -- I stopped feeling shamed when I slip. I stopped being embarassed to start over, again. I stopped worrying about what others thought about how I moved this body or what I put in to it. Sometimes, I even feel good about this body without even trying. That is the growth I have found in 2023. 

I want to build off of that, I lifted the heaviest things in 2023. I built habits to carry me through when I really didn't want too. I celebrated successes unrelated to weight loss. I had a good year. This year, I want to get my mobility and functionality back -- I want to touch my fingers behind my back, I want to get out of bed with out creaking, I want to run and play with my kids, without slowing down or letting up. I also want to be silly and wild, without apperhension. 

I also want to stick to a plan long enough to know if it worked - I want to stay engaged, whether it is running, lifting, stretching or meditating. 

I want to remember what my body likes and needs to thrive -- I want to give up the things that hurt me or slow my progress, but I don't want to lose the things I love. 

I want to play a sport, ride a horse and feel pretty. 

And I WANT TO WRITE THIS BLOG REGULARLY!

Happy 2024-ish

Melanie xoxo