It's a Healthy-esque Thing

At the start and end of every challenge my gym completes a scan and as an information junky, I am ALL in. I have a basic scale at home that only tells me how much my entire system weighs -- somedays that doesn't move, some weeks and months it doesn't move.  I take my measurements monthly, but even that doesn't capture what is happening on the inside.  I have shifted my goals to be more about the composition of my body, not just the overall weight. I want to lose fat, gain lean muscle and increase my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) to keep this engine running smoothly. This year I have focused more on what is going on inside. I want to lower my heartrate recovery time, I want to increase my endurance, I want lift all the heavy things. I want energy, better sleep and a clear mind.  Let's have a look at the facts... Total Body Water - I think this number is important to maintain, but really just depends on how much water I drink in a day. My goal is to drink between 3 and 4 li...

 I've been quietly (not at all quietly in the real world, but quietly in the blogesphere) working on myself.  I went down an unhealthy spiral, I lost focus on my goals and felt heavy in my body, literally and figuratively. I didn't realize how far I had slipped from my goals until much later on in the adventure. I went days without leaving the house only talking to people on screens, I felt hopeless, isolated and sad, but I wasn't doing anything about it but complaining.  I was working with a dietitian who was very anti-diet and great for seeing things as they are, but horrible for boosting morale. Her stance was I needed to change my goals and accept my body as it was. I understand appreciating your body at any size, but when it is hindering your dreams, I can't get on the acceptance band wagon. I want more out of life and sadly a lot of my big dreams have a weight restriction, I don't want to be the girl that lives a quiet life because the things she wants are out...

 What is that? 5000 Club is a tortuous event masterminded by my coach, Rod. It feels like a gateway to Ninja training - can I complete this challenge? Am I committed? Am I ready?  Yes. Yes, I am Rod.  5000 Club is insanity of completing 5000 Push-ups, 5000 Sit-ups and 5000 squats in 28 days. That is averaging 180/day of each. This doesn't seem like a lot until it is. It seems possible when you break it down to 20 hour for all the hours you are awake... easy. Ha!  It starts out simple, I do my 20 each and set a time for one hour - I drink my coffee, log in to work and then the timer beats and I get down on the ground and do 20 more, set the timer and get back to work. I have a few meetings read an email and BAM my timer goes off. I do my squats, push-ups and sit-ups, set the time and sit back down at my desk, the time beats. The hours get shorter until its 10pm and I am in my bedtime frantically squatting while Richard is trying to sleep. This is fine. Everything is f...

 So quick catch up, I missed my birthday because my household had covid. We came home from Worlds and had to isolate for 10 days -- which meant everything was cancelled. I had finally planned a birthday that didn't rely on anyone. Start the day with a float, then a massage with a salt scrub and a pedicure with my favourite lunch. The next day was an adventure with the hubby and then horse back riding with my best friend. By far one of the best birthdays -- but not, because everything was cancelled. It was sad -- I spent the day alone, while my husband and oldest isolated from me, because they were positive and I was not. I made and delivered all their meals and did all the clean up before I went to bed alone. It was very sad.  I think I am over it -- I don't need a redo, despite all of my friends offering to reschedule everything.  I did need to use the services I could only delay, not cancel. So last night I had a night for me.  I started at kickboxing, which was a ...

 I had a moment in the last couple of weeks where I thought "I wish I could have been a Ninja" and it was immediately corrected with "I could still be a Ninja - I am not dead yet." And I am not.  I can still train to be a Ninja, I can still fly through the air on the rings (the BIG goal). There is a 40+ category and no women compete, I could do it.  Then I thought -- what else can I still do? What other parts of me have I given up on because I thought I was too old? How many things do I just accept as it for me?  I want to jump a dirt bike. I want to run a marathon with my kids.  It went past just trying to exist and keep up, but a desire to excel.  Everyday I am learning about myself, every day I am decoding the wants/needs of this brain. I am learning about the parts of me and why they exist.  The parts model suggests we are made up of parts, all existing to help us with something -- usually a means to cope or protect the inner child, that is light,...

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I spent 2020 trying to find a new normal, I reached out to everyone for advice -- friends, specialists, doctors, coaches, therapists. Everyone had a different idea of what was right to me, the only thing they agreed on was my mental health was more important than my physical health.  I had one telling me to visualize my ideal self. I had another condemn that idea, claiming my ideals were society based not internal. I had one helping me right micro goals. Another telling to just do what makes me feel happy; eating what I want and sleeping as needed. So much of it had me questioning everything about myself, the way I go about things. I have ideas of what doesn't work and what does.  The take away was I need to find what works for me, outside of what works for everyone else. It means it is ok to do what works for my body that might not be the normal thing - smoothies work for me, I love high intensity workouts, getting up early isn't perfect, but it makes sense. I need goals, a p...