It's a Healthy-esque Thing

I got my package. I will write a post about it, but I am still overwhelmed and waiting for guidance. I read it cover to cover and took away the things I could understand: Eat every 3 hours during waking hours, to keep my metabolism humming along (I am not sure if this is old-truth, but as I promised Richard, I will do the program as it was designed for me). I am designed for 'burst' work-outs, but likely to obtain soft tissue injuries.  I tolerate alcohol well, because of this I don't likely have hang-overs and need to be conscious of my intake. I need to set 5 attainable and measurable goals (harder than it sounds). Mindfulness eating will likely be the key to my success.  Let's look at number 5; mindful eating. This is what keeps you from eating out of boredom, prevents mindless snacking and makes the process of eating more enjoyable. I think it's the same principle as food journals or budget journals -- being aware and in the moment keeps you from ov

Have I become a victim of my own ambitions? I wonder if I have too many balls in the air, if my system is confused and bumping into itself trying to figure out what I am trying to achieve. I made a list on the weekend and was astounded; Mental and Physical improvement is a long list. And I know from the Willpower Instinct, its human nature to fail at secondary tasks. We have willpower for one thing; dieters tend to spend more, reformed shopaholics eat more etc. So here is my list; Weight Loss Grant Program (Dietitian, Kinesologist, Behavioural Therapist Dental Overhaul (cleaning, extraction, fillings) Cogitative Behavioural Therapy to correct the OCD and manage the GAD Thyroid Dysfunction; working with a Naturopath and my GP unsuccessfully Kidney Infection and heavy meds Spinal Health; working with a Chiropractor Complete overhaul of my office; including converting the clinic to paperless My Mental Health;           Meditation           Reading      

This is day 17 (and 18) and I am still without a plan. This does not work in my life, I need a plan and a workable goal, I always have (the epiphany will come shortly). I am still waiting on the program to arrive on my doorstep, I feel further from prepared the longer I wait. I am enjoying my life again, knowing the end is coming. I am baking and eating without recording it, I am thinking less about food and the scale, which will make it go up, but it’s freeing in this moment. So I started a second program, because anyone can handle ONE program, but I’m not just anyone. I was referred to a psychologist for an official diagnosis and treatment. I put it off for almost a year; I didn’t want anything ‘official’. This past week I met with Dr. S to try and find a resolution to my anxiety, which would hopefully ease some pressure and pull the dark cloud away – or at least offer an umbrella. Although, I think regulating my thyroid would be my umbrella, diagnosis and treatment would e

I survived Thanksgiving with one big meal and all the prep without gaining anything. I made mistakes and couldn’t be trusted near the apple crisp cups, but I paired that with extra exercise with the boys and lots of water. I managed to stick to my eating hours with only a tea in the evening and no snacking. 3 hours ago I wouldn’t have called it a win, but today, the Tuesday after the weekend of consumption I saw my Naturopath. She brings me calm. It feels like she is helping, when everyone is just judging me and my consumption. She asks how I am feeling and how she can help. She actually listens and shares my frustrations. And she was as equally puzzled by my latest test results. Reward offered! The results where my TSH and T4 remained the same, but my T3 plummeted, all while taking an increased dose of synthetic T4. She said it just doesn’t make sense and she was genuinely frustrated. She also had wonderful things to say about the Weight Loss Grant program I am

It’s the last day of the first week and I just had my consultation and testing. Talk about fascinating stuff. Also, let’s touch for a moment on how my mood can swing from side to side so quickly. I was feeling a little lost and frustrated by my current predicament. Now I am completely enthralled, excited and engaged. So today I met with Sarah the Registered Dietitian (RD). She started the Melanie package with an introduction and an overview of the system. Then we spent 90 minutes talking about me (my favourite guilty pleasure). We discussed my normal day, my food choices, my medical history and my vices. She listened and took intense notes. She will be creating my program based on this appointment and all my test results. I made it very clear; I don’t eat fish. I started the meeting nervous that it was the same as all the other programs that were a ton of work and lasted a few months, but never stayed long term. I thought about all the charts, contemplation and time the

Ok, I lost momentum. I don’t want too... but I did. Sorry. Sorry to you, sorry to myself, sorry to sorry. I am so Canadian I actually just apologized to myself for apologizing to myself, and you know the joke is bad when you don’t even want to continue typing it. I didn’t lose momentum because I wanted to (who ever does?), I lost momentum because yesterday was shit. Like, literally shit. Mother Nature showed up, almost unexpectedly. I normal get some warning cramps, an ‘it’s coming’ mood swing, but nothing just BAM cramps and chocolate cravings. I can talk myself through those cravings, but it’s always a struggle. Then I had a dentist appointment, a check-up, and I have 3 cavities and an extraction booked from that, because - - that’s just life. I don’t think it is that bad, considering it’s been years since I had a dentist and regular appointments. The downside is the botched root canal from 4 months ago (the birthday face explosion for reference) is one of the teeth that ne

It's time to discuss Frank again, as I am not sure what he is up to. It's been 2 months since I started the thyroid battle, two months of supplements and increased doses. I. Feel. Worse. I thought I was feeling better, but then the weight started to pile on, my sleep started to suffer and my skin started to flake (painful eczema on my fingers). My anxiety and mood swings have been off the charts and I don't know why. I can't blame everything on Frank, August was a hard month for my scheduling, with vacations, sick kids, work holidays and long weekends. My stress was all over the place and I spent most of the month overwhelmed and angry. Because of above conflicts I had to move my doctors appointment out of September and in to November, so I ran my blood work October 1st, to split the difference. I want to know what's happening as I start the weight loss grant, a wonky thyroid could really stall my progress. Continued...  It's the next day and I have

I woke up feeling better and more in control. Amazing how the body works, I ate real food, no junk and woke up without stomach pain. Go figure. I had my challenges, a night out with friends was limiting, but I had an herbal tea to sip around the fire. Without explaining my new adventure, everyone teased about my dry night. I wonder why I need the program if I can do it on my own, this morning I woke up down 7 pounds. I know that’s water weight; a polite gesture from my body for giving up the crap for 72 hours. I know the loss is short lived and eventually I’ll have to start losing real weight, new weight... not the same 15 pounds, again. The wonder is gone, when I am two inches away from my face with a cookie (without realizing) before I remember the commitment and cash payout. Cash isn’t the guide though; it’s what we’re going to do with it. In 239 days, when I have met my goals and get the reimbursement comes back to me full and we book a vacation. There is a debate on

I feel a little lost, but mainly because I planned for this to be day one, the commencement, the start the... nothing. It was just the first interview to go over the process and give me one more chance to back out. I didn’t back out, I thought about it, cried over it, but still signed up for it. I weighed in gave myself 243 days to lose 42 pounds. My biggest struggle is to trust the process. I struggle with trust on a good day, but when I am trusting professional strangers to provide me with the answers I have spent my life looking for, wishing for and dreaming of... it’s hard to trust. The coordinator even touched on the fact that some of the people start out believing it’s a scam, herself included. A team of people to guide you on a custom program and they’re going to reimburse you everything when you hit your goal – scam. The saving grace and deciding factor for me is – there is nothing but food on this program. There are no pills, supplements, protein shakes, cleans