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Where have I been?

I went down a dark road. I road littered with good intentions, but still dark and wide.

Sometimes my insecurities, my esteem dwindle and I run out of the energy to silence the voices screaming I am not good enough. Sometimes I quietly agree with them and eat the Oreos in darkness wishing I could just disappear.

This is the roller-coaster that is me. I try at something and when it doesn't work (usually because it wasn't right for me, not that I wasn't doing it right) I beat the hell out of myself and every aspect of my life suffers. I forget to smile at the good times, I wallow in the bad times and I get stuck.

Sometimes it lasts a day, an hour... this time it was months of hopelessness, feeling lost, alone and like a full blown failure. I tried to handle it alone, I tried to hide how it felt to suck at life. Mostly I succeed... something I am best at, pretending I am ok.

I think I am on the other side, I think I am ready to dive back into health and wellness, I think I found my program and I think I will find my success.

Stay tuned, for a happy post about what is happening now.

Yours in health-esque,

Melanie

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