Ideal Self

One of my last exercises with my health coach was to write down my ideal self. Who would I be if there were no restrictions? What kind of life would this alternate reality Melanie live in? I thought it was an interesting assignment, mostly because the caveat is the brain will believe whatever we tell it, truth or imaginary.

Under this guise, we can tell our brains anything we want and manifest it. If we believe we’re fat and dumb, we’re going to be fat and dumb, but this power wielded correctly could make us fit and strong.

Seems easy enough, change your vibrations by using your mind to envision a better version of yourself. I’ve had this chat with Richard before as well... what if we could control our dreams and live in them any way we choose. My first thought is why would be ever wake up? My next thought was what would that look like to me?

So... this is the kind of exercise I can really get behind.

For comparison, my husband and best friend took a crack at it, my ideal Melanie would (and kudos to him for not just making it about HIS best Melanie). He thought she was a woman of leisure, sleeping in and not doing any cooking or cleaning. His version spends the day creating and showering her kids with affection. This version naps in the afternoon and never has to wash a dish (it doesn’t sound so bad actually).

His version embraces the sloth inside of me, not caring about my health or worrying about my appearance.

My version is vain in comparison.

My Melanie is a flawless go-getter, put together, calm and fit. She gets up at 5am to strength train, she dry brushes and knows how to use pre-workout. She cares about her appearance and has a solid skin care routine. She has a style that people love. She eats gluten-free and dairy-free without chocolate vacations. She preps her life so it’s not chaos. She eats breakfast at the table with her kids every morning. She remembers important dates in her friends lives, she knows how to control her emotions and doesn’t swing so big between excited and devastated. My ideal self, flirts and eases through situations. She is strong and capable, she is respected. And the best part of this Melanie, she doesn’t think about any of it... it just happens. She just gets up at 5am, she doesn’t think about for days, dread and over plan it. She doesn’t nitpick over everything she consumes.

Also, with no limitations, this Melanie doesn’t nag the men in her life, because they just help. She doesn’t have to do the dishes 3+ times a day or harass them to put the laundry away. They know what is expected of them and they do it.

This Melanie isn’t afraid to have boundaries and she doesn’t ask permission to put herself first. She sounds like a real bitch, but she is beautiful so no one cares.

In the last week of coaching, I thought I am going to be this Melanie. I am going to control the things I can and be her for a week to see if it’s as easy as that.

*I should note, my therapist thinks this a terrible idea, because goal setting is just an opportunity to be disappointed. I might even be doing this as a rebellion.

 So... for 7 days I am going to prep and plan, set the alarm and live as my ideal self. 

This Melanie gets up early to work-out, she plans the night before to ease the stress of the morning. She sits at the breakfast table with her boys and talks about their days. This Melanie does her hair and make-up, she is put together and calm. 

Day One went surprisingly well. I got up without issue, I worked out and it was tough, but not stressful. I spent the morning hanging out with my kids and working with them to create a grateful journal (Thomas is grateful for family, Zachary is grateful for his bones). We casually ate a healthy breakfast and started our day without any yelling or rushing. 

It was peaceful. My day was smooth, I felt in control of myself - not the typical chase. I am normally lagging behind on my steps, my diet and my goals. I am always needing to do something else... but day one I didn't have anything else to catch up on. I had used those 2 hours in the morning, to be physical, mindful, relaxed and productive. What a shift. 

The real kicker, at the end of the day Thomas asked me, "Mum did you do your prep so you can sit with us again?"

Even my kids saw the difference ideal Melanie makes on their day, even Richard commented on how nice it was to see me before work, to connect with me before starting his day. It's amazing to feel so significant to someone (which I know is a weird thing for a Mum to need to realize, but as you'll learn my self worth is VERY low). 

I guess this is my new thing. I'm the Melanie that gets up early, sets herself up for success and enjoys time with her family. She's not so bad. 

I'll leave you with this... 

See you in the morning ;)

Love, 

Melanie