It's a Healthy-esque Thing

Let's play a bit of catch up, I always wanted this blog to be about helping other people with less time than I have. People who have similar ailments, but limited resources. I have time, I listen to every health podcast (and true crime). I read every article, I am a complete information junk. I spend my free time figuring out what works, on my own and with professionals, I read self help books. But I am just me, I am not a professional, I don't have a wall of certifications, so this blog turns into more of a journal entry that you might pull wisdom from. Let's get all caught up; The Weight Loss scam grant; I completed a full year with the program which doesn't tell you anything. In that year I paid $3000 and I spoke with a dietitian 3 times, a counselor once and a fitness girl 5 times. The company I started with went bankrupt, the company that took over my contract wasn't registered with the program and would require my final weigh in to be at another cli

I went down a dark road. I road littered with good intentions, but still dark and wide. Sometimes my insecurities, my esteem dwindle and I run out of the energy to silence the voices screaming I am not good enough. Sometimes I quietly agree with them and eat the Oreos in darkness wishing I could just disappear. This is the roller-coaster that is me. I try at something and when it doesn't work (usually because it wasn't right for me, not that I wasn't doing it right) I beat the hell out of myself and every aspect of my life suffers. I forget to smile at the good times, I wallow in the bad times and I get stuck. Sometimes it lasts a day, an hour... this time it was months of hopelessness, feeling lost, alone and like a full blown failure. I tried to handle it alone, I tried to hide how it felt to suck at life. Mostly I succeed... something I am best at, pretending I am ok. I think I am on the other side, I think I am ready to dive back into health and wellness, I thin